Sunday, September 6, 2020

Pandemic Diary, May 15, 2020

 

mark@marktreble.com

 

The Pandemic Diaries May 15, 2020

 

Hi, everybody. Yes, it’s me, Antoine Jackson, in the flesh. My two ugly brothers thought some cosmetic improvements could be made to their weekly broadcast, and here I am. They’ve talked about all kinds of stuff, just not the important things. Like playing ball. Today is the day the teams start withholding 25% of players’ salaries on account of the lockdown.

 

League executives have already taken a pay cut, back in March. The league protected player salaries for March and April, even though there weren’t any games. I hear some complaints, but won’t name names. And, maybe some of the complaints are justified. I mean, I don’t know anybody else’s financial situation, just my own. And, let’s face it, I’m not a charity case. Taking a pay cut of 25% still leaves me far better off than almost everybody else in the country. Players’ average salary this year is more than seven million bucks. Most Americans would be thrilled to have one percent of that as an annual salary.

 

The cut only applies to cash compensation, so things like my apartment aren’t affected. Maia and I talked, and we’re writing a check to the Minotaurs for a quarter of the rent every month. Just seems fair, you know. And then, if the apartment becomes subject to the salary cut, we won’t have so much of a change in circumstances. We’re then giving away a third of what’s left over. We can more than afford that.

 

What we’re doing is splitting that into thirds. One-third goes to Aunt Kamesha’s clinic in Florida. She and Logan figured out that her biggest need in the future is nurses and specialists. So, she’s putting some of that money into scholarships for nurses and a few other specialties. She’ll eventually have a podiatrist and a chiropractor on staff as well as a medical lab scientist, all part-time. Another third goes to Dena for the clinic and food bank. And the last third goes to Maia.

 

She reads a whole lot. I mean she’s always reading something. She learned from her Grandfather, Mister Jake, how to craft internet search queries. No joke, he doesn’t know shit about the internet, but he was an editor for more than half a century. Learned how to do searches of microfilm; the internet is easy, in comparison. She finds small businesses that are about to go broke, and sends them some money. Usually about a thousand bucks for each employee. All anonymous, her bank finds local banks to handle the transfers.

 

This is not me blowing my own horn; I do enough of that on the court. I’m not just good, I’m real good. And that doesn’t happen all by itself; I had a lot of help. Without my Aunt Kamesha, I’d have been stuck in Special Ed in New York. Without my brothers Logan and Tommy, I’d have been just one more above-average black high school player. Without Maia, I’d have gotten into all kinds of trouble, just like all those other flash-in-the-pan black ball players. That’s right, NBA players are overwhelmingly black and ungodly rich. We’ve got more than our share of delinquent assholes, and I could easily have become one of them. Except for Maia. So, we’re just giving back.

 

All of us here at the Minotaurs are doing that. ‘Cause it’s a good thing.

 


 

Saturday, August 29, 2020

Pandemic Diaries, May 8, 2020

 

mark@marktreble.com

 

May 8, 2020

 

Tommy here again. Next week we’re asking Antoine to be the guest host for those of you more interested in sports than the weekly soap opera of a young married couple. He’s said to be the best player since Michael Jackson, but I don’t know. Sure, he’s guaranteed Rookie of the Year, won tournament MVP in the NCAA three times, was the number one draft pick, set records for almost everything in the ACC. But, I’m better-looking. So there.

 

Mayor Lightbrain is claiming that she’s listening to scientists about how to handle the virus, and the best thing is to keep everything closed. Scientists agree that little kids can catch COVID, but it’s almost never serious. So, why are they locked up? Reports of child abuse are down, actually a bad sign. Most reports come from teachers, who now haven’t seen students in months. Between her and Governor Einstein I wonder how long the city can last.

 

We had a record number of patients at the clinic on Saturday. I’m slowly becoming sort of a nurse instead of a physical therapist. I draw blood, take vitals, change dressings. Rick arranged to ship us a used X-Ray machine and supplies, and Deena is finally able to get a look at the lungs she listens to. Logan works all day translating for our Spanish-speaking patients. We’ve got enough protective gear for Deena, Logan and me, but it’s hit or miss for a lot of the rest of the volunteers. Tree figured out how to do a drive-up food bank. About half of the customers walk up, but it’s the same setup. When he said he was going to install a window, management told him he couldn’t because it was too expensive. We have a window, and Tree paid for it himself. A lot of the small businesses where poor people shopped are gone forever, and we could run the food bank 24/7.

 

Ralph and Becca bought a van converted into a sort of bus. It has fourteen seats and a large cargo area. They found a retired city bus driver who had a mild case of COVID earlier this year and is recovered. His doctor says the driver is now immune with plenty of antibodies. He works all day Saturday picking up patients, food, medical supplies, whatever’s needed. Suhail is a first generation American, his parents came from Jordan. Nice guy.

 

OK, e-mail time. Ellen D. in New Orleans wants to know what style underwear I want when I appear on her show. She gives guys underwear, something I don’t understand since she’s not into guys. Anyway, I told her briefs. I just got a text from Logan, TMI. Oh, well.

 

Here’s one from Stefan W. in Dubrovnik. He wants my recipe for cabbage salad. Stefan, just get a cabbage and make a salad. Honestly, some people.

 

Remember, Antoine is guest hosting next week.

 

 


Thursday, August 27, 2020

New Series Underway, Full Steam Ahead

mark@marktreble.com

 

I’ve started the newest series, Frankenbuzz Detective Agency. Their first case will be Sea Monster or Monsters, and take place on board a luxury yacht in the Gulf of Mexico. Let me know your ideas for the kinds of cases you want them to accept, the sorts of characters you’d like them to meet, and where you’d like them to travel.

 

The joy of fiction is that travel costs are usually zero, so join the young men as they solve crimes all over.

 

Earliest publication date will be 2021.